Private Teachers Predators = Professional Harassment?


This is the story that I’ve intended to share but I somehow hesitated due to the appropriateness, whether it is appropriate for me to publish it or would be sound like just a drama I made. Well, it may sound like a drama, but honestly I was almost depressed and traumatic because of this. I even thought about giving up using social medias as this person kept haunting all the social medias I have. As the intensity grows stronger and it’s bothering me A LOT so I finally decided to publish the story. The reason why I am sharing the story is based on a professionalism reason and to remind others to be aware and cautious of the same case.

It started on early November 2017 when I got many offers in my LinkedIn. Usually, if the company or the representative of the company is interested in our profile, they will add our account or send us a message.

Among those messages and offers, there is this message sent by someone who does not represent a company telling that he needed a private teacher. I was a bit suspicious when I found that his written message was, I can say, perfect. He used lots of formal words and cohesive devices. I could only find very few grammar errors there. However, I asked him about his needs and he mentioned that he needed a teacher to help him improving his speaking skill. So then I gave him my contact number in order to discuss further about it. After I gave him my number, in just a second, he added me on Facebook and Instagram. I remember that I only linked my Facebook with my LinkedIn as I use it for my professional use, but not with my Instagram. So he clearly added me by searching my name.

This person mentioned that he is a director in an insurance company and married with 3 kids. At the beginning, he wanted to meet me at his office, but since he works and lives far from my house and the school where I teach, so I decided to call off. But as he insisted to meet, then I asked him to meet me at the mall where the school is. So just in case, something might happen, I’m safe and I know where to run for help. A few days before the meeting, he sometimes texted me asking about my hobbies and favorite music which he mentioned the reason was as a reference. It got stranger when he asked me if I am married or not. This surely an improper questions to be asked by a prospectus student, but I tried not to take it seriously at that time.

On November 13th, on the meeting day, things actually went fine. We talked casually, he sometimes preferred to speak in Bahasa Indonesia as he said that he was embarassed with his English. He also talked about his family,

Just a day after the meeting, he started sending me inappropriate texts telling about his feeling about me. Why do I call it inappropriate? Because: 1. he wanted to be my student, and 2. he is married. In addition, he is very impatient and was upset whenever I couldn’t reply his messages immediately due to my work.

On November 17th, I travelled to Japan to attend the JALT International Conference. He knew that I went there because I told him that I couldn’t be available soon because of this plan. Just when I arrived, I received so many text messages from him telling how much he missed me and how he would be jealous if I might meet any guys there. I ignored it and replied the next day very shortly and formally. It bothered me a lot because I couldn’t focus on my trip. Again, he was upset that I didn’t reply quickly and often.

Until 4 days I was in Japan, he still sent me those inappropriate messages and I had enough. I thought by not replying fast and sending very short and formal replies have given him a clue that I didn’t want to be disturbed. So then I discussed with Icha who happened to be my travel buddy there. She advised me to stop him as this had become very unprofessional. By doing this, he has harassed my professionalism as a teacher.

So then I sent him a text telling that I couldn’t continue this and asked him to find another teacher. I also told him that that will be my last text message to him, another clue telling that I don’t want to be disturbed. He was very upset and I could tell from his reply. He didn’t stop and sent me another message asking for a second chance. I didn’t reply to his message until I returned to Jakarta.

On November 25th, he assumed that I was back to Jakarta and sent me Happy Teachers Day pictures, then begged for a second chance again and told a story of how much he needed a teacher because all his proposals were rejected after he got promoted. He also tried to trace the reason why I rejected him and he thought it was when he said one thing that he actually meant to show how he admired me. Whatever that was, it’s strictly unprofessional and I really didn’t see any use for me to reply it until he sent me an email with the same content. Gosh, he really drove me nuts! I then replied to his email very politely but firmly asking him to consider this as a recruitment process where both parties had the right to reject the each other and it’s because of professionalism reason. I even told him that this would be my final message to him and expected him to stop communicating with me however that was. I also mentioned that if he made a further effort, I won’t be able to tolerate it and would sue him. Again, he replied upsetly and stated that it was just a misunderstanding.

After the email, I was relieved because I thought that it was over. But I was wrong, although I blocked his number and WhatsApp connection, he sent me a text messages and even  used a different number to text me. I, of course ignored and blocked it.

After a month passed, just a few days ago, he sent me another email and I found out that he also sent me another invitation to my Instagram account with a different profile than the one I blocked. He also added me on Google+ that I had to block him too.

I really have enough!! This is really irritating me and I CAN’T take this anymore!! How can I tell Indonesian people or even the world, that female teacher is not a whore! You can’t come to us saying that you wanted to study English as your pick-up line then hitting on us and even, thinking that you can pay us to serve your needs! Is it too much if I say that this has become a professional harassment?

And how about LinkedIn itself? Has this application been considered or even turned into a social dating app where you can pick employees or teachers based on their look and hit on them?? I am sorry, I am not there to find sugar daddies out there.

I have never vent in my Facebook and even my blog. I use them for my professional posts. And since this is also related with my professionalism so I write here. If anyone has any advices or even know any ways to protect us professionally, please let me know.






My Journey As a Teacher: Part 2


As I wrote in my previous post, I love learning and seeking for more knowledge. I attended many seminars and workshops. I did them in order to satisfy my thirst in knowledge. One day, back in February 4 2013, I attended one iTDi Workshop in UHAMKA, Jakarta. I actually have known iTDi since 2009, when I read Chuck Sandy and Curtis Kelly’s page in facebook. How surprised I was after I “liked” the page, Chuck Sandy sent me a message. Chuck kept inviting me to the events and communities he created but at that time, I was still shy to join and be active. I thought, I am just a preschool teacher, I could never be compared with clever people like them (no offense, that was what I thought :-D)

Back to February, when I got the invitation to iTDi workshop from Chuck, I finally thought, “This is it. This is the time. Find more friends, do networking and learn more.” And so I decided to join the workshop, that’s when I met Yitzha Sheilla Sarwono who gave such an inspiring presentation, as she is actually a kindergarten teacher, like me and of course, I met Chuck Sandy, Barbara Hoskins Sakamoto, and Eric Kane. When the workshop finished, I approached to Icha and Chuck asking whether I can join, involve and contribute in the community. After that, I felt like, wow I had such a gut approaching these great people asking for that.

Since then, my life has changed. I joined the iTDi and met more inspiring people from different backgrounds. I feel so blessed to be a part of the community. This is what I wrote in my Facebook wall right after I joined the community:

“The act to believe and inspire people don’t come only from your mouth, but you also need to show them, in your action. Thank you for believing me and inspiring me to be a better teacher and a better person. Your acknowledgement and appreciation mean so much to me. This is the place I have dreamed for so long…”

Yup, these people do inspire me. Thank you, guys!

My Journey As a Teacher: Part 1


Don’t get surprised, I was graduated from a non-teaching background. Yup, I took Law degree back in the university. Been applying for jobs in law firms, but my heart said it was not for me. So then, I started teaching in one of English Course in Jakarta. That’s when I found my passion in teaching, I love meeting people, I love sharing my knowledge and I love learning while I’m teaching. I taught all levels of General English program, from kids to adults.

However, something told me that I want to concentrate more to young learners. So I moved and started working in an international preschool. Since then, for more than 5 years I have been dealing in Early Childhood Education. I love teaching children, because I am not only teaching but I can also have fun with them, singing with them, acting silly with them which they like most.

At the first time I taught in a preschool, I remember one of my student’s parents asked me to give reading and writing tutorial to their daughter. I was surprised. I don’t even have any knowledge in teaching reading and writing, I don’t know Phonics… I don’t know how to teach them. In addition, I didn’t get any satisfying answers from my colleagues at that time. But I didn’t stop and turned down the offer. I became independent and found out all by myself. Thanks to Internet technology, I browsed (well this embarrassing to say, but I did) about what phonics is from many different sources. I went to bookstores and spent my money to buy as many book to satisfy my hunger. And since then I started to get in love in teaching resources and children storybooks, I can’t stop myself when I get to bookstores. Then I even made my own teaching aids. All by myself. And I did it! After learning for a few months, the parents satisfied and after their daughter achieved the reading target, they wanted to extend the tutorial. From there I got many offers for tutorials.

This experience inspired me to start my own English Course for Children at home in 2009. I hired an assistant, bought the furnitures and resources, designed the class and developed the curriculum by myself. Wow, how did I get the knowledge of writing the curriculum? Of course from my teaching experience in the English Course, my tutorial, related books I bought, and of course, internet. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long, due to the economy problem, I had to close it.

Yup, it was very hard for me. But I didn’t stop, I kept moving. Start from the beginning, applied and worked at schools again.

I love being a preschool teacher, I love teaching children in their golden years. However some people still consider this not as a profession, just an activity to fill the time. Some even think preschool teacher is no different than a babysitter. Working as a preschool teacher is not only taking care children, but we also responsible for their development and academic skill, the skills which babysitters or nannies don’t have. I honestly feel offended with they way people treat preschool teacher as babysitters.

That is why I try to learn a lot, I am trying to develop myself more by attending workshops, searching for scholarship for my Master Degree, joining iTDi (International Teacher Development Institute), networking and learning from other teachers and more things that can make me to be more than a preschool teacher, to be a better teacher.

All these things: these failures, ups and downs have given me lots of experiences and lessons. I am not and never gonna stop, I have to move on and move forward and build more foundations to continue my dream: my own school.