This is the story that I’ve intended to share but I somehow hesitated due to the appropriateness, whether it is appropriate for me to publish it or would be sound like just a drama I made. Well, it may sound like a drama, but honestly I was almost depressed and traumatic because of this. I even thought about giving up using social medias as this person kept haunting all the social medias I have. As the intensity grows stronger and it’s bothering me A LOT so I finally decided to publish the story. The reason why I am sharing the story is based on a professionalism reason and to remind others to be aware and cautious of the same case.
It started on early November 2017 when I got many offers in my LinkedIn. Usually, if the company or the representative of the company is interested in our profile, they will add our account or send us a message.
Among those messages and offers, there is this message sent by someone who does not represent a company telling that he needed a private teacher. I was a bit suspicious when I found that his written message was, I can say, perfect. He used lots of formal words and cohesive devices. I could only find very few grammar errors there. However, I asked him about his needs and he mentioned that he needed a teacher to help him improving his speaking skill. So then I gave him my contact number in order to discuss further about it. After I gave him my number, in just a second, he added me on Facebook and Instagram. I remember that I only linked my Facebook with my LinkedIn as I use it for my professional use, but not with my Instagram. So he clearly added me by searching my name.
This person mentioned that he is a director in an insurance company and married with 3 kids. At the beginning, he wanted to meet me at his office, but since he works and lives far from my house and the school where I teach, so I decided to call off. But as he insisted to meet, then I asked him to meet me at the mall where the school is. So just in case, something might happen, I’m safe and I know where to run for help. A few days before the meeting, he sometimes texted me asking about my hobbies and favorite music which he mentioned the reason was as a reference. It got stranger when he asked me if I am married or not. This surely an improper questions to be asked by a prospectus student, but I tried not to take it seriously at that time.
On November 13th, on the meeting day, things actually went fine. We talked casually, he sometimes preferred to speak in Bahasa Indonesia as he said that he was embarassed with his English. He also talked about his family,
Just a day after the meeting, he started sending me inappropriate texts telling about his feeling about me. Why do I call it inappropriate? Because: 1. he wanted to be my student, and 2. he is married. In addition, he is very impatient and was upset whenever I couldn’t reply his messages immediately due to my work.
On November 17th, I travelled to Japan to attend the JALT International Conference. He knew that I went there because I told him that I couldn’t be available soon because of this plan. Just when I arrived, I received so many text messages from him telling how much he missed me and how he would be jealous if I might meet any guys there. I ignored it and replied the next day very shortly and formally. It bothered me a lot because I couldn’t focus on my trip. Again, he was upset that I didn’t reply quickly and often.
Until 4 days I was in Japan, he still sent me those inappropriate messages and I had enough. I thought by not replying fast and sending very short and formal replies have given him a clue that I didn’t want to be disturbed. So then I discussed with Icha who happened to be my travel buddy there. She advised me to stop him as this had become very unprofessional. By doing this, he has harassed my professionalism as a teacher.
So then I sent him a text telling that I couldn’t continue this and asked him to find another teacher. I also told him that that will be my last text message to him, another clue telling that I don’t want to be disturbed. He was very upset and I could tell from his reply. He didn’t stop and sent me another message asking for a second chance. I didn’t reply to his message until I returned to Jakarta.
On November 25th, he assumed that I was back to Jakarta and sent me Happy Teachers Day pictures, then begged for a second chance again and told a story of how much he needed a teacher because all his proposals were rejected after he got promoted. He also tried to trace the reason why I rejected him and he thought it was when he said one thing that he actually meant to show how he admired me. Whatever that was, it’s strictly unprofessional and I really didn’t see any use for me to reply it until he sent me an email with the same content. Gosh, he really drove me nuts! I then replied to his email very politely but firmly asking him to consider this as a recruitment process where both parties had the right to reject the each other and it’s because of professionalism reason. I even told him that this would be my final message to him and expected him to stop communicating with me however that was. I also mentioned that if he made a further effort, I won’t be able to tolerate it and would sue him. Again, he replied upsetly and stated that it was just a misunderstanding.
After the email, I was relieved because I thought that it was over. But I was wrong, although I blocked his number and WhatsApp connection, he sent me a text messages and even used a different number to text me. I, of course ignored and blocked it.
After a month passed, just a few days ago, he sent me another email and I found out that he also sent me another invitation to my Instagram account with a different profile than the one I blocked. He also added me on Google+ that I had to block him too.
I really have enough!! This is really irritating me and I CAN’T take this anymore!! How can I tell Indonesian people or even the world, that female teacher is not a whore! You can’t come to us saying that you wanted to study English as your pick-up line then hitting on us and even, thinking that you can pay us to serve your needs! Is it too much if I say that this has become a professional harassment?
And how about LinkedIn itself? Has this application been considered or even turned into a social dating app where you can pick employees or teachers based on their look and hit on them?? I am sorry, I am not there to find sugar daddies out there.
I have never vent in my Facebook and even my blog. I use them for my professional posts. And since this is also related with my professionalism so I write here. If anyone has any advices or even know any ways to protect us professionally, please let me know.